BIP Pledge

In line with the recent decision by the Minister of Education to introduce a pledge that will be recited by all school learners at the beginning of each day, I would like to introduce a pledge that has to be recited by anyone on the day that they intend braaing. My draft pledge is as follows:

• I pledge to respect the ground on which I will make my braai 
• I will commemorate humankind's discovery of fire 
• I will honour my human rights to braai 
• I pledge to undergo a lifelong learning process to improve my braai skills 
• I will attempt wherever possible to teach other people to braai and 
• I will show human tolerance for those who cannot braai

Random note from the 2007 Inauguration of BIP
Taking the i out of braai would be like taking the bottom out of the barrel. A four year old offspring with neither internet nor formal BIP training had the damnation to speak, pointing out that "I want" is childlang for "Please can i have", and so deducted that 'braai' can still be pronounced 'braa' without losing any of its South African flavour. Needless to say, that child's bum bypassed the batter and fryingpan endirect route to the butter.

Braaing begets wisdom begets bricketts begets braaing be--- (this is the beginning of the first known never ending sentence, and is considered a serious health risk when spoken with alcohol or written in a monastery - handle with the same care and dexterity as you would if pulling a tooth from a live greatwhite shuck - for example, placing and turning porkfilled chipillatas on a grid for consistent browning requires less dexterity, but it helps if you hold your breath in a manner befitting a man pulling a tooth from a greatbig live whiteshuck with halitosis, for if you are underwater in a sea considered to be a breeding ground of shucks, would you rather be thinking of shucksbreath or braaiing, and if you think not of sharks, they cannot be there, and you will be braaing--- ok, not the best example, but it goes to proving that being led down a garden path, more often than not, ends in a braai place, your happy space with braaivleis, butternut, sunnyskies  and webered-crembrulee.)