Hello and welcome!

Hello. This is the home of the Braai Improvement Process.

At the adenda-settling inauguration braai with 5 kinds of meat, one of which (chicken) is known to be a staple vegetable, it was duly and rightfully declared that the Braai Improvement Process (BIP) come out of public hibermarination, and into the fire of the belly of the notpublicityshy firefly, the spidergumsweb. The fabulous union between ShaythePhreckens aren'tthey! or is-he? and LittleBig Drebbn has made it to the big apple of all loinfruit, the interestweb. The plan is to put the interest back into the inertweb, but this would be a total fibulation of the truth. We want to talkbraai here. We can make a pledge.

Some highlights of the 2007 inauguration:

• Interweb bearing accounts have been set up, stocked with cashmoney overflows and jasus islandii rocked lobsters when in season.
• The second weekend in June shall forever be known as our BIPday. A nemo has been requestfully and respectfully sent to the bipmarketing-dictionary-and-calendar division; and to governments everywhere that this weekend (mentioned above) a) be allocated a single day on the calendar, and also a) to occupy 72 hours of clocktime. Neither a) should have power over any other a) mentioned in that sentence.
• It was phonetically acknowledged that though there is an iron braai, taking the i out of braai would be like taking the bottom out of the barrel. A four year old offspring with neither internet nor formal BIP training had the damnation to speak, pointing out that "I want" is childlang for "Please can i have", and so deducted that 'braai' can still be pronounced 'braa' without losing any of its South African flavour. Needless to say, that child's bum bypassed the batter and fryingpan endirect route to the butter.

BIP Inaugural Agenda Planning Committee

Hello Braaimeester

I thank you for your formal communication with regards to the formation of BIP. I have detailed a tentative agenda below for the inaugural BIP meeting at HQ2 from 17h00 and would appreciate your oversight in this regard.

BIP Inaugural Agenda
Venue: HQ2
Time: 17h06 - Mutually decided cut off point
Date: 8 June 2007

Agenda Items

1. Welcome and Introductions - BIP CEO (Creative Execution Officer/HQ3 Braaimeester)
2. Inauguration of the BIP Instrument (pouring of brandy onto the braai)
3. Incantation of BIP Solemn Oath (to be devised by BIP initiates)
4. Brotherhood/Sisterhood BIP Ritual (hence smoking the bipipe)
5. Familial Involvement Chant ("Careful of the fire" sung to the tune Bruce Springbean's "I'm on fire")
6. First BIP Incandescense (HQ3 Braaimeester to convene)
7. Quality Assurance of BIP (BIP Tasters Committee - all BIP devotees)
8. Quality Management Report (Audio-Sensual Portfolio developed - all BIP devotees)
9. Development of Futuristic Strategic Planning Matrix (BIP future targets identified)
10. Closure of BIP Convocation (Fire replenished to burn braai grids off - Repeat of Agenda Items 4 and 5) 

My thoughts on this agenda are that it is a little parsimonious and that it could be spiced up and marinaded.

Forwards to the task ahead,
Shorefish (made it by the way)

HQ2a/1/SN/H20

Rere: Braaitidea lighting my head

Hallo Shotfish

(I hope you make it to shorefish without attracting too many shuckfish)

A most brilliant reply and herewith I heartily welcome the BIP into my life and family. We are also open on Friday evening (I usually keep every friday open for braais, and hope that now that we have BIP we can start braaing more regularly during the week as well...please put this on the agenda for our forthcoming BIP braai).

My family has agreed that the next BIP braai can happen at your house on Friday evening. We will try and get there early (5 ish) to give BIP a good chance of gaining momentum and goodspa. Please include me in the planning and preparation phases for the launch of BIP on Friday.

all the best
L-BD

Re: Braaitidea lighting my head

Greetings LBD

I too have been thinking of the improvement of our braai skills. This was recently highlighted when I performed a Weber braai on Sunday evening. A certain Holtipop and his Uberlicious arrived for said braai. I decided a rosemary smoked chicken would be in order. Knowing that one of the legs of my Weber braai was decidely disabled, I handled the braai machine with extreme care. As the chicken was nearing its cooking time I lifted the lid to ascertain my prowess in "webering". Unfortunately, as I replaced the lid, the entire Weber braai turned anti-clockwise and then slowly cartwheeled to the ground, leaving two aluminium legs standing upright in what could only be described as a "fuck you" sign.

Braaitidea lighting my head

Good day ShaythePhrecker!

i have been thinking quite a lot about our braai on friday. What i have realised is that there is a lot of room for improvement on our braaing skills. I have also thought that the best way of improving on our braaing is by practising it - the more we practise the better we will get at it and the better we get the more the enjoyment we will get out of braaing. And once I realised this it became obvious to me that we would need to have another braai as soon as possible!

It then also occurred to me that if we practise hard for a few years we could become so good at braaing that we could even publish a book on braaing. And then I thought of a name for the book - "braaing with little bigdreb and shorefish."