The dangers of vegetarian braaing

Dear Driedfish,

I feel a strong need to reflect on my recent experience of vegetarian braaing, which has threatened to scar me for life. I have long been suspicious of vegetarian braaing, as I normally have very little in common with vegetarians. Most of my popular braai topics such as the merits of rare steak or lightly marinated lamb chops somewhat fall flat in my braai discussions with vegetarians.

Be that as it may, some of my best friends are quasi-vegetarians. Knowing that I have yet to attain veggie braaimeester status I thought it would be a very good idea to be ultimately prepared for this braai. My friend had reluctantly agree to try chicken so long as it didn’t look  or taste like chicken. I therefore prepared a marinade for ‘chicken tikka tikka’ – the usual yoghurt, turmeric, garlic, roasted sesame seeds number. After the lemon doused chicken pieces were threaded onto bamboo sticks and submerged in luminescent yellow marinade for a few hours, there was very little to indicate that this was a chicken dish.  I then marinated a few lamb chops in garlic, rosemary and olive oil just in case the vegetarian side of things proved inedible.

My piece de resistance however was taken from a Frenchie barbecue recipe for vegetarian sausages. This involved...

Festive Pt 3: Braaied Alaska

Ystervark (Porcupine) Braaied Alaska

We'd like to thank an anonymous delegate from the Deep South for this recipe, which draws on traditions of the developed and developing worlds. The reason for the anonymity is that we actually couldn't find out exactly which BIP delegate submitted this. We do like this recipe however for its encouragement of cross-gendered activity as men get to bake while braaing. We do need to caution that this recipe is normally reserved for BIP delegates who have already earned the title of BIP Braaimeester.

Braai the beloved country

Having freshly arrived back from a holiday in the Eastern Cape, which involved a significant number of braais, I feel compelled to inform BIP of the fact that radically different braai cultures exist within our beloved country. Whilst this is not necessarily a bad thing, I do feel that we need to include a guide to braaing food in an edible way within our BIP manual.

As the following BIP case studies involve people that we actually know, I have changed their names to protect their braaing prowess.

Marinades, etc etc

Dear Little Dreb

Thank you for renewing your subscription to the BIP Newsletter. In this edition you will find a range of tantalizing marinades, news of stupendous braais accross the globe and of course the usual regular columns, such as Dear Braaibee. In case you are unable to detach the 3D newsletter DVD complete with braai smells, an edited version of the newsletter appears below.

Letter from the Editor 
Greetings Fellow Braai people! I am very pleased to report on a research study recently completed by the University of Albania, which conclusively proves that human maturity is only reached if you are able to braai properly. The research goes on to show that most Albanians have not yet achieved maturity, even though many have obtained the lower barbecue competence. On a more spiritual note, the radiant luminescence of a braai at sunset taken at a mountain home in Scarborough is worth meditating on (page 3). Attitude and radiance are rare qualities of a meister braaier as they cannot be easily taught. So to all BIP devotees, I hope that 2008 is filled with the delicate aroma of the braai!

Marinades
For the fifth marinade, we are delighted that Egberta has decided to share her ancestral marinade recipe with us.

The will to braai

Dear Ladel of Dreb

Following our exploration into the vortex of experiential braaing, I would like to offer the following reflection based on braaing practice. Last Friday, I prepared for the weekly BIP ritual. Being somewhat world weary, I bought the following braai items from Woolworths:

• 1 rump steak 
• 8 lamb chops 
• 1 roll of lamb sausage 
• 1 packet baby potatoes (with garlic butter added) 
• 1 tinfoil container filled with a range of sweet pepper, butternut and onion 
• 1 packet brown mushrooms and pre-mashed garlic 
• 1 camembert and 1 brie together with water crackers 
• 1 Malva pudding and fresh custard 
• 2 packets chocolate balls 
• 1 packet Woolworths briquettes and firelighters 

I lit the fire at roughly 18h00 and rebuffed my daughter's offer of help in making the braai. I sheepishly explained that it didn't need two people to light a firelighter and pour briquettes over the paraffin. As per BIP custom, I burned the grid off, but with glowing briquettes, it didn't really seem to burn off that well. At 18h45, I switched the stove on and placed microwaveable potatoes in a clay pot with the garlic butter into the oven. I added a tinfoil container of vegetables, soaked in olive oil. I then prepared the mushrooms by cutting them in half, adding a basil rocket pesto and garlic, adding them to tinfoil and folding the tinfoil packet tightly.