Marinades, etc etc

Dear Little Dreb

Thank you for renewing your subscription to the BIP Newsletter. In this edition you will find a range of tantalizing marinades, news of stupendous braais accross the globe and of course the usual regular columns, such as Dear Braaibee. In case you are unable to detach the 3D newsletter DVD complete with braai smells, an edited version of the newsletter appears below.

Letter from the Editor 
Greetings Fellow Braai people! I am very pleased to report on a research study recently completed by the University of Albania, which conclusively proves that human maturity is only reached if you are able to braai properly. The research goes on to show that most Albanians have not yet achieved maturity, even though many have obtained the lower barbecue competence. On a more spiritual note, the radiant luminescence of a braai at sunset taken at a mountain home in Scarborough is worth meditating on (page 3). Attitude and radiance are rare qualities of a meister braaier as they cannot be easily taught. So to all BIP devotees, I hope that 2008 is filled with the delicate aroma of the braai!

Marinades
For the fifth marinade, we are delighted that Egberta has decided to share her ancestral marinade recipe with us.

Gently simmer 10 bulbs of garlic (sliced) with mampoer (moonshine, witblitz or Stroh Rum will also do) until tender. Add 4 chillies (with pips), 3 bay leaves, glugs of olive oil, cinnamon, 50g butter and 500g dark chocolate. Stir till combined and take off just before it boils.

Egberta recommends this marinade with fish. In her words " Take any whole fish and place it in a plastic bag. Pour the marinade in and seal the bag. Freeze for 25 minutes. This allows the marinade to set and therefore stay on longer while braaing.

Thanks Egberta - I can feel my mouth watering just thinking of it! (Ed)

Stupendous braais across the globe
In Southern Turkmenistan, Dorg and Horfu are pictured here braaing gellied eels. Their secret is to add vodka to the fire just before placing the eels on the braai, which accounts for the purplish aura seen in the flames.

Dear Braaibee
Please help me. I recently held a braai for my work colleagues and found the wood was a little damp. I added a mere litre of petrol, leaned over and lit it. I now have no beard, no eyelashes, no nose hairs and my hairline has receded to the crown of my head. I felt very foolish but managed not to say anything to my colleagues and carried on braaing. I'm sure I heard little sniggers though. How can I ensure this never happens again?

Humphrey

Dear Humphrey
Braaing for your work colleagues is a waste of time as you will never be able to relax and braai properly. If you must use petrol, my advice to you is to buy a bow and arrow and an ear bud. Tie the ear bud to the tip of the arrow. Dip the ear bud in petrol and pour 100ml of petrol onto the wet wood. Put the petrol canister away. Stand five metres away from the braai and shoot the arrow into the braai. You may want to practice this a few times alone in your own garden.

Braaibee